Entry Forty-Eight:

This week has been interesting. It has been a strange combination of people being helpful and kind towards one another and people not thinking things through before doing things – with good and bad results, but I won’t get into that since it’s not important. I’ve been observing my surroundings, especially the people around me and realize that people are at different parts of their personal journeys. I know we all have our bad days, our good days, our busy days, our lazy days, etc. It’s still interesting to see how we interact in these different scenarios.

It hasn’t been difficult to deal with people this week. However, I have been thinking about how I can improve my people skills. I have been keeping myself grounded using wise mind and mindfulness. It’s easy to stay present when using these skills because they keep your mind firmly on the present and it shuts down any rumination that I may entertain. I have felt annoyed by a few people because they don’t lead by example. I’m trying to be realistic in my expectation of others and regardless I find myself disenchanted and annoyed by people not measuring up.

At the end of the day I realize that I need to do the best I can with the resources available. Ask for help when needed, but otherwise rely on myself to get things done the way I want them to be. Lately there has been some random door slamming and other loud crashes at home. It puts me on edge even though I know it has nothing to do with me and I know I did nothing wrong. It creates anxiety in me and makes me want to cry sometimes. I don’t know if this is due to the bad memories I have from the past but I need to get a hold of myself and deal with it. I need to self soothe and stay away from the commotion as much as possible. Maybe it’s time to sleepover someone house for a day to get a break from the random disruptions to my mellow demeanor as of late.