Entry Eighty-Three:

I keep giving people chances and continued to be proven that those individuals aren’t trustworthy. I’m done. I’m tired of trying and it blowing up in my face. Like the saying goes, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” The reason it took this long to finally reach this conclusion is because the person in question is a family member, a parent. It’s very difficult to cut the cord because I want to make things work.

I was guarded for a long time because I continued to get hurt by this person. For a while there I thought they learned from their mistakes and that they were changing for the better. However, they have since reverted to only calling me when they need something and not reaching out now that things are calm.

I acted in good faith but the person obviously doesn’t care. I have made my feelings clear and have made my availability clear. I don’t think my parent will ever step up to the plate so I’m going to be okay with having a less than optimal relationship. At least my other parent is there when I need them and doesn’t disappoint me in the same way. I’m not saying one is better than the other or that they haven’t made their mistakes. I’m just done trying to have a relationship with someone who isn’t there.